There is truth to the old saying “a hungry heart will eat anything.” In other words, a person who is desperate for love or acceptance will accept any kind of attention, no matter how negative. This can ultimately lead to harmful and damaging relationships.
Because some people are so desperate for connection, they often settle for things that aren’t good for them. They may kiss someone without knowing them well enough, or take a relationship beyond what it should be because they’re lonely and feel like they need somebody in their life. All of this leads to hurt and disappointment down the line.
So what can you do if you find yourself feeling this way? The first step is acknowledging that you are in a difficult situation. But don’t let yourself sink too low, there’s lots that you can do to uplevel yourself.
Stay motivated by focusing on your goals instead of getting lost in the cycle of vowing never to settle again, and read on to learn about 8 things you can do to become incredibly confident!
The Dangers of Settling for Less Than You Deserve
When you’re desperate for love or attention, it’s easy to settle for something that’s not good for you. You might stay in an abusive relationship because you think it’s better than being alone. Or, you might agree to go on a date with someone you’re not interested in because you don’t want to miss out on the chance of finding love.
However, settling is never a good idea; we all know that. It usually leads to more heartache and pain in the long run.
When you settle for less than you deserve, you’re not giving yourself the chance to find what you really want and need. You’re also teaching yourself that you’re not worthy of getting what you want, which can lead to a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. So instead of settling, hold out for something better. Trust that you deserve it—because you do!
Identifying a problem and turning the corner
One of the strongest healers of low self esteem is learning to love yourself just as you are. Know nothing is missing in what makes you a unique and valuable person. In order to love yourself, there’s many things that you can learn to do better. For example, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am enough just the way I am.”
Look in the mirror and say positive, uplifting and encouraging things to yourself; it may seem strange at first, but persevere and do it on a daily basis. Tell yourself out loud how beautiful or handsome you are, what a great job you did at work today—anything you want, no matter how trivial. Notice how you begin to feel after a session in front of the mirror filled with self-love.
It’s time to make a change and increase your confidence.
Confidence = Comfort
Think of confidence as comfort. The more comfortable you feel doing something, like playing a sport, for example, the more confidence you build in that area. If we want to beat the tendency to settle for less or the capacity to be lured into addictive behaviors, learning to be more confident in ourselves is key.
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Work on these 8 tips to become incredibly confident:
- Smile in a genuine way; be aware if your smile is fake.
When you meet someone or walk into a room, smile in a genuine way. Some people don’t know how to smile. Their smile is fake, and it looks fake. People can tell, and they intrinsically don’t like it, nor the person.
If your smile doesn’t include your eyes smiling with it, it is a fake smile. A fake smile can be picked up like an antenna by people, and it makes you look subconsciously to them as a threat and even creepy. No one wants to interact with someone like that.
Take a real hard look at your smile. Look in the mirror and assess your smile. Look at some funny memes to get you in the right frame of mind. Work on your smile; practice it in the mirror and with everyone around you. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but you will become more confident in your genuine smile the more you use it.
A real smile is typically the one that is produced when you are laughing. This type of smile is connected to your eye muscles. Your teeth will show. If you for some reason want to hide your teeth, work on getting them cleaner, straighter, whiter, or whatever you can do, because your teeth are needed to display your confidence through your initial smile as you greet people.
Use excellent posture.
Pay attention to how you carry yourself. When you walk into a room, or stand up, make sure your back is straight, your shoulders are back, and your chest is slightly out. Own the room. Do not slump with your posture. Hunched shoulders are the sign of someone who is unsure of themselves or doesn’t think highly of themselves.
Take a deep breath, stand tall, and walk into that room while addressing people with your genuine smile. You will emit confidence and people will be drawn to you like a magnet. Everyone wants to talk to the confident person because they radiate an energy that people are attracted to.
Be true to yourself.
Don’t put up a front or act like someone you’re not. This is exhausting for you and likely for those around you. If you want people to trust and respect you, then it’s important that they know who you really are. Act accordingly!
For example, don’t drink an alcoholic beverage at a party because the host or someone else gave it to you without asking your preference. If you don’t want to drink alcohol, say so, and they will seriously respect you for it.
They will see that you are not a follower and that you are instead one of the leaders in the room. There’s no need to do what everyone else is doing; nobody stands out in a positive way by just following the crowd.
Own your failures and successes honestly.
When something goes wrong—whether it’s an embarrassing moment or a difficult challenge—be open about what happened and how you coped with the situation. This will help build self-confidence by demonstrating that you are not afraid to make mistakes, that you are not perfect, and that you learn from your experiences.
Set goals for yourself.
Don’t be afraid of working hard to achieve your goals. Do not listen to those who try to discount your goals. Your goals may be much bigger than theirs, so your goals are making them feel uncomfortable. Discounting your goals is their way of trying to make themselves feel comfortable again.
When we set our sights on something ambitious, it gives us motivation to keep going even when the going gets tough. and that’s key to building self-confidence! And if it takes many attempts and a lot longer to reach your goals, it doesn’t matter. Progress is what will keep us motivated and happy. Don’t forget to enjoy the journey to the top!
Set boundaries and stick to them.
Everyone will respect you more. If you have to study and your friends are trying to pull you away to go and party with them, give them a firm decline and tell them that you will take a raincheck. They will respect you for maintaining your boundaries.
Consider your word to be sacred.
Value integrity. If you say you are going to do something like call at a certain time, or do something for someone, DO IT! Do it without a reminder, and just produce the results. There are too many flakes out there right now, and this will be an impressive quality that will make people remember you, recommend you and it will lift you higher in the opinion of others. People are impressed with someone who does what they say they are going to do without compromising. It’s not hard. If you can’t do something, just don’t say you can or offer.
- Believe in yourself no matter what others say or think! There is power in knowing that we aren’t controlled by other people, but rather that we have complete control over our own lives and destinies.
So believe in yourself enough to let go of negative thoughts and allow positive affirmations (positive statements about ourselves) into your life instead. They’ll help build confidence from within, just like the sun shining through clouds on a bright day!
Continue to work on your self-confidence
To continue your self-confidence growth, we recommend writing down your thoughts and your progress in a workbook style self confidence book. This one is really good:
The Self-Confidence Workbook:
We hope the information provided in this article was helpful.
A hungry heart will eat anything—but that doesn’t mean it should. If you find yourself constantly settling or engaging in risky behaviors, it’s time to make a change before things get worse. Seek out help and guidance so that you can start living the life you deserve, which is a life that’s joyful, fulfilling, and free from self doubt and pain. We wish you well on your journey!
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