Personal Development

How to Get My Husband On My Side – Why Argue? A Guide To Getting Your Husband to Agree

Are you and your husband struggling to agree on how to co-parent, equip the household finances, or figure out what’s most important in life? 

If so, it can be discouraging when the man you love, who you thought would be forever supportive of your efforts and dreams, doesn’t seem to be standing beside you.

However, there are simple ways that can help turn this situation around by learning how to get your guy on board as a team.

Being on the same page through good communication is important glue in relationships. 
Being on the same page through good communication is important glue in relationships.

With a little effort and love directed at each other, couples can find common ground and create a more unified outlook for their marriage going forward.

Keep reading for practical tips about getting your partner fully invested in creating success together!

How to get my husband on my side: You feel the kitchen needs some minor updates.

Getting someone to agree with you can be challenging, especially when it’s your partner. But one of the best tactics to use is to make your partner feel that your idea is actually their idea.

Let him think your thoughts were his idea.  
Let him think your thoughts were his idea.

If you want your husband to agree that your kitchen needs some minor upgrades, for example, try to subtly plant the idea in his mind so that he eventually comes to the conclusion himself. For instance, you could casually mention how outdated or inconvenient certain aspects of the kitchen feel to you.

Let him imagine how a new kitchen island can bring the family together, for example. 
Let him imagine how a new kitchen island can bring the family together, for example.
  • Encourage your husband to offer his own thoughts and ideas on what changes could be made. This way, he’ll feel like he’s part of the decision-making process, and he’ll be more likely to support and agree with the changes.
Items like “new” tables and chairs can renew your kitchen look substantially. There are often excellent finds at second hand stores or on aps that show you what your neighbors are selling. 
Items like “new” tables and chairs can renew your kitchen look substantially. There are often excellent finds at second hand stores or on aps that show you what your neighbors are selling.
  • A “new” set of chairs and dining room table, for example, can be found used for much less. 
  • By involving your husband and giving him a sense of control, you’re more likely to get him on your side and working with you to achieve your goals.
Let him in on the planning and decision making process, and he will be the one to give you more help than you thought to make it happen. 
Let him in on the planning and decision making process, and he will be the one to give you more help than you thought to make it happen.

Develop a plan together to discuss how you will make decisions and come to agreements on common issues.

When it comes to making decisions and coming to agreements on common issues, communication is key. Taking the time to develop a plan together can make a world of difference in ensuring that both parties feel heard and understood.

  • Start by establishing clear lines of communication and setting aside dedicated time to discuss important topics.

With a solid plan in place, navigating decisions and conflicts becomes much more manageable and can even strengthen your relationship in the process.

Listen and really hear what your husband has to say when he is speaking

In any relationship, communication is key. This is especially true when it comes to marriage. When your husband is speaking to you, it’s important to not only listen but to really hear what he’s saying.

  • Being a good listener is a skill that requires practice. Hearing and listening are two different things.
  • Put away distractions like your phone or the TV.
Even glancing at your phone while your husband is talking to you is toxic to your relationship. 
Even glancing at your phone while your husband is talking to you is toxic to your relationship.
  • Focus on and sincerely care about what he’s saying.
  • By truly hearing your husband out, you are showing him that you value his thoughts and opinions and that you are committed to working together to make your marriage strong.

Put yourself in his shoes and try to understand the situation from his point of view.

Everyone has their own perspective on different situations, and it can be challenging to truly understand someone else’s point of view. 

However, it’s vital to put ourselves in others’ shoes to gain insight into their thought process and feelings. When he can see that you are truly trying to understand and accommodate him, he will naturally be more inclined to do the same.

To avoid a standoff, it is important to regroup and pretend that you are your partner, and see things through their eyes for the health of your relationship. 
To avoid a standoff, it is important to regroup and pretend that you are your partner, and see things through their eyes for the health of your relationship.

Particularly in times of conflict, it’s crucial to empathize with the opposing party to find a solution that works for both sides

When we take the time to listen and consider someone else’s viewpoint, we might be surprised to learn something new and see things from a more well-rounded perspective.

So, if you find yourself in disagreement or conflict with someone, take a step back and try to understand their point of view. You might find that it changes the whole situation for the better.

When your partner feels listened to and understood, things start changing for the better. 
When your partner feels listened to and understood, things start changing for the better.

How to get my husband on my side: When you need a break from the majority of the childcare all week

If you want your husband to agree that you deserve some quality family time or to do something on your own on the weekend, it’s important to approach the conversation in a way that doesn’t seem accusatory or confrontational.

Again, one of the best tactics to use is to make your husband feel that the idea is actually his idea.

  1. Start by expressing how you feel a little bit burned out from providing the majority of the childcare during the week and how it’s important to you to spend quality time with your family or have some time for yourself on the weekend.
Every loving mother gets burned out from the demands of childcare from time to time.
Every loving mother gets burned out from the demands of childcare from time to time.
  1. Instead of laying out your own specific plan or solution, ask your husband for his opinion on how the two of you can achieve your goals.
  1. Encourage your husband to offer his own thoughts and ideas on how you both can better manage the childcare responsibilities during the week and make sure there is at least some quality family time during the weekend.
Kids love it when their fathers take over.  They have an uncanny ability to make the most mundane chores fun!
Kids love it when their fathers take over.  They have an uncanny ability to make the most mundane chores fun!

This way, he’ll feel like he’s part of the decision-making process, and he’ll be more likely to support, compromise with, and agree with a plan that he has helped create.

  1. Create a situation where your husband can experience firsthand the amount of work you put in during the week. 
Giving your husband the children for the weekend without you can be an adventure for everyone, and when you return, you will feel much more appreciated!
Giving your husband the children for the weekend without you can be an adventure for everyone, and when you return, you will feel much more appreciated!

For example, you could make plans for a weekend getaway or a fun family activity but then express how you’re unable to participate because you’re feeling burned out from childcare duties.

This may prompt your husband to realize how heavily childcare falls on you during the weekdays, and he may be more willing to come up with a plan together that ensures everyone’s needs are met.

Both of you are appreciated in the family, and all of your contributions matter and are valuable!
Both of you are appreciated in the family, and all of your contributions matter and are valuable!

Remember, the key to getting your husband on your side is to make him feel valued and involved in the decision-making process. When he feels empowered to contribute and solve issues together, he’s more likely to be a supportive partner.

Respect each other’s opinions, even if you don’t agree

In a world full of diverse opinions, it’s important to respect each other’s viewpoints, even if you don’t share the same beliefs. 

It’s easy to get caught up in our own perspectives and dismiss others without giving them a fair chance, but doing so limits our ability to learn from one another.

Being open lets your thought process get creative. 
Being open lets your thought process get creative.

Being open to different ideas fosters understanding, empathy, and, ultimately, greater unity among people. By valuing each other’s opinions, we create an atmosphere for authentic dialogue without fear of judgment or ridicule.

Respect is the key to building strong relationships and fostering a positive, collaborative environment where everyone can thrive.

Create separate “me time” for both of you, so that each can have alone time to relax and unwind

In any relationship, it’s important to make time for yourself as well as your partner. Creating separate “me time” for both of you can make a huge difference in your overall happiness and well-being.

It’s crucial to have alone time to relax, unwind, and recharge your batteries. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a bath, practicing yoga, or just enjoying some quiet time, having time to yourself can help you de-stress and clear your mind.

Whatever makes you happy during your “Me Time” is likely to be fine with your spouse!
Whatever makes you happy during your “Me Time” is likely to be fine with your spouse!

By carving out this time for yourself, you’ll also be able to come back to your relationship with renewed energy and focus. So go ahead and schedule in some “me time” and see how it can benefit both you and your partner.

Be open-minded about trying new things that your partner suggests, and be willing to compromise

In any relationship, trying new things is always a good idea. Not only does it keep the relationship exciting and unpredictable, but it also allows you to discover new things about yourself and your partner.

Your spouse wants to move and you’re not sure?  Having an open mind to see the possibilities from his perspective and beyond can be bring big rewards!
Your spouse wants to move and you’re not sure?  Having an open mind to see the possibilities from his perspective and beyond can be bring big rewards!

When your partner suggests trying something new, be open-minded and willing to give it a shot. Even if it’s not something you would have considered on your own, it could end up being a great experience.

How my husband won me over to enjoying camping with the family

Camping lets you get intimate with nature.
Camping lets you get intimate with nature.

When I first heard the idea of going camping with my husband and our kids, I was a bit hesitant. Camping was not something I grew up with, and it certainly was not my idea of a fun vacation. This was probably because I was told this by other “non-campers.”

But my husband, who had grown up camping with his family of six, was adamant that we give it a try.

Camping provides an education and memories that cannot be experienced in any different way. 
Camping provides an education and memories that cannot be experienced in any different way.

To ease my concerns, my husband suggested we invest in an RV because he knew we were going to want to give our children the gift of nature more often than not.

This would provide us with some of the comforts of home, as opposed to “roughing it” in a tent, which was a main concern of mine. He worked hard to find the perfect RV that would be both practical and comfortable for our family of five.

Once we had the RV, we immediately split duties. My husband, who is a bit of a handyman, took charge of maintaining the vehicle and making improvements to make our camping experience even better. He’d buy accessories like comfortable chairs to add to the mix. 

My husband left no detail behind.  He made sure our pets were comfortable too!
My husband left no detail behind.  He made sure our pets were comfortable too!

I, on the other hand, focused on meal planning and prep to ensure we had delicious and nutritious meals to enjoy together.

I liked using cast iron pans to cook over the fire with for the even distribution of heat and abilty to transfer a caramelized browning of the meat cooked in it. 
I liked using cast iron pans to cook over the fire with for the even distribution of heat and abilty to transfer a caramelized browning of the meat cooked in it.

With our roles defined, we embarked on our first family camping adventure. Despite my initial hesitations, I was quickly won over by the beauty and peace of nature surrounding us and the joy our children were experiencing.

It’s hard to beat a genuine campfire that you built together. 
It’s hard to beat a genuine campfire that you built together.

We explored all over the great states of Michigan and California and confidently tackled hiking trails long and short, fished in nearby streams and lakes, and followed up every evening with a campfire where we roasted marshmallows and shared stories. Our kids loved this.  

The smell of a campfire was one that would linger on our clothes and would evoke fond memories. 

Thanks to my husband’s passion and planning, I have come to love camping and now look forward to our family camping trips.

Now that we live in California, we love camping in Yosemite and try to get out there when we can.

Yosemite National Park, in my opinion, provides one of the most incredible opportunities to be in nature. 
Yosemite National Park, in my opinion, provides one of the most incredible opportunities to be in nature.

While we still have a few challenges, like the occasional bug bite or need for a little extra comfort, we are always prepared and enjoy each other’s company in the great outdoors.

If you both compromise for each other, the result is much happier

It’s important to remember that compromise is key in any relationship. 

You may not always get your way, but being willing to meet in the middle and make sacrifices for each other shows a level of maturity and commitment that can only strengthen your bond.

Happiness for both parties is the goal. 
Happiness for both parties is the goal.

So, the next time your partner suggests something new, be open and give it a chance. Who knows, it could be the start of something amazing.

Concluding thoughts on how to get my husband on my side

Working together on any issue doesn’t have to be a tug of war between husband and wife. Being on the same team is about finding common ground or a middle ground that both people can agree upon.

With the strategies shared, it shows that by focusing on actively listening and respecting your partner’s opinion and boundaries, you will be able to create an even bond without constant conflict.

A successful relationship takes two willing partners who are willing to listen and communicate with each other in order to work together as one unit.

Always remember the love you have for each other and it isn’t about winning, because that means the one you love is losing with you. 
Always remember the love you have for each other and it isn’t about winning, because that means the one you love is losing with you.

Working together can bring balance and harmony to everything you do and make life as a couple smoother with less strain.

Whether you agree to disagree or find a mutual agreement to proceed, it’s important to come together harmoniously rather than butting heads over every decision made in your marriage. Nobody wants that.

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