Have you ever started dating someone you really like, you invested your time and resources into this person, and after a while, they started dating someone else?
Maybe they just took your time or whatever they thought they could get from you. Maybe they just flat out used you?
In this article, you are going to learn how to make sure that getting played is not something that anyone will think of doing to you. This advice works for both men and women.
How to make getting played a thing of the past
Justin Bieber Confident Technique #1
Set Your Boundaries
The one thing that you need to have to make sure you are never used or taken advantage of in any way while you are dating comes down to boundaries.
Having set boundaries is directly related to your self-esteem, and establishing boundaries strengthens your self-esteem.
When self-esteem is high, you will not allow anyone to even have a chance to use you. This is not a quality that most are born with, it has to be practiced, but in order to be practiced, awareness of self-esteem is vital.
Realization:
You are the reason you were taken advantage of.
You are the reason you got “played.“ This is not the other person’s fault.
And you know what? It will happen again and again if you don’t bear down and take a look at how you are going to change this.
How do I change?
Justin Bieber Confident Technique #2
Excess communication degrades your value
If you are communicating with this girl at any other time by text, by social media, phone or any other method when you are not making plans with her, the perception is not positive for you. It will make you less valuable in her eyes.
The meaning of this excess communication can come off in 1 of 2 ways, which both lead to perception of you having less value:
- You want her validation, which translates into you having less value to her subconsciously or consciously.
You should already have your own validation and not need hers, that is super attractive to a woman.
- It can make you appear desperate and needy, which in turn makes you less valuable.
If you let this girl get to know you over text before you meet up with her, then what you are really doing is showing this girl that since you are letting her get to know you over text, why would she want to meet up with you in person?
All the mystery is seeping out with each additional text that you send, and you will be less of a priority for her whether it is noticeable at first or not.
Chances of poor communication over text are also high, making you look less attractive as well.
Justin Bieber Confident Technique #3
Increase your value
If you have had a successful first date, congratulations!
Again, do not communicate with her unless you are making plans.
How do you ensure that she will not flake on you?
Do not text. Call first. If she doesn’t pick up, shoot her a confident text to make plans only, do not share any other information at this time. Your text should look like this:
Sample communication for making plans
Hi, I’m free Saturday at 7:00PM or Sunday at 12:00PM, which one works for you?
This is called a “Double Bind” question that does not allow for a “no” answer. You are implying here that you are already going on a date. You seem, and you are very confident. She will like that.
She’s not interested
Now, she may tell you neither of those dates work for her. That is ok. If she does not give a date and time that DOES work for her, then that is not ok.
If this is the case, she is wasting your time if she does not come back with a date that works for her. There is no need to communicate with her after this point, move on, do not pursue her further, unless you want to play games and degrade your value.
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She’s interested.
If she comes back with another date and asks if this date is good for you, then you’re on. She’s interested.
Next, take further control as the confident man you are and tell her the place that you will be meeting her.
She will say “Sure, let’s do it.“ Most women appreciate the details being thought out by her date, it shows he has been thinking about her, and that is attractive.
OR, the better option
Be ‘old fashioned“ and pick her up. If you want to go this route, she will have to give you her address.
If she doesn’t send you her address or starts to beat around the bush, or she says she will be out with friends on Saturday and is not completely sure of her plans and she can meet up with you later, she’s playing games.
Be willing to walk away
If this is the case, make other plans. If a girl wants to be with you, she has to prioritize you. Your time is valuable, and they too must value your time and efforts.
They cannot be making other plans and leaving you up in the air with inconsideration. You are valuable and must be viewed as such and treated with respect.
Last, be willing to walk away. If a girl is not appreciating you, if they are flaking on you, they are not for you. Walk away from them, and don’t look back.
If this girl is treating you like this in the beginning, imagine how she will treat you later on. She need to respect you, and respecting your time and your efforts to get together is shown by not flaking on the plans or hindering them into existence.
With these tips in mind, you will hold your value in her eyes. She will see confidence and as a result, you will hold her attention just as you always wanted.
Go out and practice these techniques. You will get excellent results because they work! Happy dating!
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