It can be tough to deal with a classmate who is always teasing you, but once you learn why they are doing it, you can take steps to stop it.
They sense that you have your life together and are confident in your daily progress and achievements. They want to take your feelings of self-satisfaction away from you to bring you down to a level that is more like what they are feeling, so they don’t have to be a better person.
A bully wants to bring others down to their level
The person teasing you has not achieved goals like you have and they are feeling insufficient. Instead of working harder to achieve goals like you, they are lazy, unable, not smart enough, do not have the self-confidence, or fill in the blank with a reason. They would prefer that those who achieve more than them come down to their level.
That is not going to happen. They have no internal power to achieve this, though they are trying to project that they do.
This article will tell you exactly what is going on in their mind and how to stop their behavior with exposure and pattern interrupt.
There are a few ways that you can drive back your classmate who always teases you, especially if you know how their mind is working. Here are a few things you can say and do that can help improve your situation:
Using exposure and pattern interrupt to drive back a classmate who always teases you
- Be calm and collected. Confidence is a scary thing for some who tease others. Don’t get angry or frustrated; that will only make the situation worse because these are the buttons, or the feedback, the person teasing wants to press.
It is good to have an understanding of the weaknesses that someone who teases you may have. These weaknesses are quite consistent across the board. Most reasons for this type of behavior come from the same place, which is inadequacy.
- Starting with what is going on in your mind, never take the teasing personally. The person is teasing you out of a lack of confidence and self-approval. They feel weak, inadequate, and powerless, whether consciously or subconsciously. Whatever they are teasing you about is usually a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
Perhaps someone in their life is making them feel this way. They may have been subjected to physical or emotional abuse in their lives.
This is not your problem to solve, as you are not the one who can solve it for them. When someone feels powerless, they look to take the power away from others, though this does not have the ability to make them feel more powerful, despite their efforts.
- Get this person alone to talk to him or her in person. Talk to the person privately and calmly; you may choose to have a friend stand behind you for support but not be part of the conversation.
When you confront the offender in person, they cannot hide behind a screen or others. Bullies are weak in this situation. They become raw and vulnerable.
Explain that you know why they are embarrassing themselves by treating you this way. Expose these reasons to them. Choose any or all of these points to expose the person teasing you:
- You and others understand that they do not like or respect themselves.
- You can see that it is obvious that they feel a lack of power, so they want to try to steal someone else’s power, yours, but it isn’t going to work for them.
They will still be powerless and sad, and deep down, they will still not like themselves.
Let the person teasing you know that you are writing a report on a daily basis for a paper trail of the behavior and that others’ opinions and comments are being added to the report.
Whether they are or not, this is exposure and will make them feel very uncomfortable. Those who tease do not like to be exposed or have records of them doing so.
- Tell them that the cure for them to start liking themselves more is to start feeling self-respect from the inside.
- The only way they can prove to you and others that they respect themselves is when they stop feeling the need to disrespect and bother others.
Only then will they not feel the need to bring others down to their level. Tell them you will be genuinely happy for them when they reach this level, but first-
- Let them know that others know that they are displaying behavior consistent with weakness for everybody to see, and that you and others understand that they are lost and weak.
You are aware that they do not like themselves because it is clear that they require assistance in defining goals to work toward on a daily basis in order to feel better about themselves.
Explain to them that you understand it has nothing to do with you, and they know it too. You can see that he or she sees something admirable in you and wants it. You are genuinely flattered by this. Sadly, he or she does not know how to attain it.
But, it is their lucky day! This is because you are willing to help them out!
Offering to help them improve their weaknesses is surprising and called a “pattern interrupt.” They were not expecting this from you, and offering to assist them puts you in a position of power while also confusing them.
- Inform them that if you were in any other situation, you would charge for your time providing this type of guidance because you will be showing them valuable information that they will use for the rest of their lives. This will give him or her some real information on how to start reaching powerful goals, so they too can be proud of themselves.
10.Explain to him or her that in order to genuinely start accepting themselves from within, he or she has to find their own power, which comes from being happy with themselves and specifically making progress every day towards set goals.
- If they deny the fact that they do not have set goals, it is likely because they have no idea what you are talking about.
Tell them you understand their lack of comprehension and that you will have to show them how to define their goals too. You accept that they do not have a clear picture of what defining his or her goals may look like.
- Advise him or her that you cannot do this goal-defining or goal-setting for them; they have to take setting their own goals seriously.
You can see that they do not have any set goals right now, this is obvious, but you are willing to help them discover what they are and how to attain them. He or she would be happier with themselves if they did, because happiness equals progress in daily life in whatever genuinely interests them.
How does helping them help me?
Once they reach this feeling of being proud of themselves by defining and setting out to reach new goals that they set, they will have little time to waste thinking about others and what they have that they want.
In essence, you are giving them directions on how to start working towards what they really want instead of trying to take feelings of greatness away from others so they feel more equal, thus not bothering you anymore!
We hope you found the information in this article to be helpful and that, in your mind, you are well prepared to tackle the classmate who always teases you.
Tease is all about attempting to take someone else’s power away because the person teasing feels powerless.If this person sees that you are much more content with yourself, that you have goals and plans, and you expose their weaknesses and tell them why they are acting weak, this is often enough discomfort for them to move on. They may really think about stopping the behavior for fear of embarrassment and further exposure.
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